They do change very fast and it's kinda sad though. But after you think about it, there's nothing sad about it :)

OMG. Today I spent a lot. A lot for me though, maybe not for you and not for others. I bought 3 pieces of clothes for Rm 150.++ After I came back and check, I tried to calculate if the price is correct and to my horror, I think the cashier made some mistakes!I ask my mom worriedly if she could remember the price. and was doing trial and error for the price after discounted, and in all ways the price didn't seem right. In the end, I marked up the price higher and turned out to be the right amount that I have paid. Only then I was like o.o Erm, that pants/blouse that expensive? !$&()_)(*&^%$ wth, okie, what a stupid mistake i did and I actually think it don't come with the price >< arg and I am not sure I should call the shop and ask for the exact amount rather than simply marking up the prices. How? :'(

Gonna restart this blog but won't divert to another new link cause it's too troublesome, only the content need to be 'restart'. Haha. Happy New Year 2011 to all and enjoy! :) cheers

Yeah, I came back to watch drama on the tv. I came back also to know more scene live telecast. It's like what I expected, that's why there is always reason I never wanna come back during holiday. I know avoiding all this is not the way to solve problem , but even after this scene, there's nothing i could do as it's out of anything that i could help. there's nothing i could except burdening how i have already felt. so it's like more problems for myself. oh well, what i can do is know a lot, but stuck in my earphones after that, so i hear nothing. that's why i am almost deaf now, enjoying music in maximum volume all this while. nothing goes right this few months for me. everything seems ..hopeless.

Love or Not Love

I have this inspiration at 1 am , and this is the first time i post something at this blog ever since I reached Miri this semester.

It's hard to be loved and loves people. When you are loved by some people, you might not have the same type of love that wanting to be with someone who loves you. Or it is just not the love you want or the people who love you. When you loves people, you might not get back the love that you want or that person not want to be with you when you want to. Love is so simple and yet complicated. Love itself is a very special and simple feeling but love get complicated when it forms a bond between two or more people. Love causes jealousy, fight, argument, marriage, divorce, and the list go on. It has the good and bad part of course. When you do not love, or not to be loved, you feel lonely. I always believe that we can live good without love, but today somehow I feel I am wrong all this while. Suddenly I feel the emptiness inside my heart and I feel like it's calling me so that it can be filled but I don't know who is my heart calling. It has no one to call. So I think my heart just get tired of calling, filled with disappointment and it finally stop calling for anyone. Actually it has been calling for someone, but I do not allow my heart to call out because sometimes I think I am just being used that my heart even got cheated by it. I closed it and it rested not so well. It starts to get sick and painful. That's when I start to treat it with junk food and lots of unhealthy ones. I believe it will not recovered that fast. My heart is never mend since 3 years ago. It was alright at first but I can't believe it just get worse here. I am suddenly so sick when I talked about the past but I love thinking about it. Sick because I think talking about this, just make me like a stupid girl. I would try to stop myself talking about this from now onwards and I know I should look forward. I kept and keep too many stuff inside my heart and I have no one to share it here. I have ones previously but recently this 'ones' just successfully prove that he's a guy like no difference from other guys. It got bottled up for too long that until sometimes I don't even know what has happened and what is going on. I hope my heart stay strong and continue to breath. Breath within the blood without being filled with anything else though I need to.

*wish myself all the best* =)

Today marked the end of my foundation in engineering. So it's almost a year since I reached in Miri to pursue my tertiary education. From the very beginning, I never expected and never ever ever thought I am going to end up at Curtin Univesity of Technology, Miri. Previously at secondary school, whenever there were education fair, I would went to Curtin University consultant and got a few pens and notebook as Curtin are the most 'generous' one. Perhaps, they used materials to attract more students. Lol. I ended up here due to some reason though, which sometimes I wonder about it and did think it's better if I never ended up here. Final exam with 6 units were over and results going to be released 10th of July. Final exam papers are:

Physics: Sucks. Fuck
Chemistry: Hard. No comment
Engineering Maths: Thanks to Mdm Jane's guidance
Moral Studies: Will never understand
Programming in C++: Kinda hard. No comment

Oh my god! It's going to be Friday, 45 minutes from now. Last Friday was like yesterday. I don't know what's happening and what's going around me. It's too fast. Next week will be final exam and that indicates the end of my foundation year. In about a month time, I am going to enter degree. Time flies way too fast than I expected. I thought 4 years that I gonna spend here will be slow. But not happening for first year, and I predict the rest of the years will be faster than first year. I wish it could be slower so that I could enjoy the joy and pain happening around me. It's moving too fast until I don't know what's happening. A big ? in my mind always. Well, it's not a happy first year for me because of a lot of stuffs. Guess it gonna be worse way ahead, but I have to be grateful for everything happens for a reason. Gonna thanks to somebody who I always slammed everything to, even though I have been saying same thing to him/her. Thanks for the patience. It's gonna be hard time for ye. Hmm, that somebody is going to oversea after I finished another semester. Aw, nobody else for me to complain anymore. So, I gonna practise bottling up. =D
Well, even though I don't know what I have studied this week, but life goes on. I will take the challenge to survive. Not gonna take myself seriously as no one else does. I'll remember this : "Be Grateful for Everything Happens for A Reason" - (by someone)